(no longer) LOST IN JAPAN

Only in my dreams...

So I've been home for almost 3 months now. I can hardly believe it. I think about Japan all the time and I miss it. I miss the people, I miss my friends, I miss the service, the food, I even miss the super annoying "Irrasshaimase" every time you walk into a store. I miss convenient convenience stores, the Moritanis, the Goido/Haibara train ride, Capricciosa, cheap grocery store sushi, Utage, my tiny apartment, Tuesday's language exchange and Thursday cooking, crazy Japanese TV, onsen, that guy on Karada de Asobo (he is hot), all-you-can-eat Brazilian meat restaurants, my elementary school students, shopping in the Shitty with Laura, hanami, shoes, sake, nomihodai, Maru, Yacht Rock karaoke... Sometimes, I head home from school on the bus (packed like a train to Osaka at rush hour) and wish that I was back there.

Don't get me wrong, I love Montreal but coming back here has been a challenge and a half. And the funny thing is, it's much easier living here than it was to live as a foreigner in Japan. Not speaking the language, never fitting in, constantly being started at, talked about, stopped by the cops because you're coming out of the Family Mart at 11:30PM... Life in Montreal is not nearly as exhausting and I think that's what the problem is. Every day in Japan was a learning experience. When I came home, I was so happy to have real pizza with no corn or mayo to be seen, real Montreal bagels and smoked meat, shopping for underwear that actually fit, home cooked gourmet meals...

But everything seems to have lost it's lustre (everything except the home cooked gourmet meals--thanks Mom!) And with October in full swing... the leaves are almost gone from the trees, Montreal is about to be plunged into 6 months of winter (crap)... it's cold, rainy and dark. Octobers suck. It's probably just the October blues talking and the fact that I live in the suburbs with no car and no income (at least now I have a keitai--my only connection to the outside world). It's all very confusing, to be honest. It feels as though Japan was nothing more than a dream. A very real dream but a dream nonetheless. All the people I met, fleeting. All the places I visited, fading... There were certainly things I didn't like (the fact that I only had 8 hours of class time, WGJTE, paying $2.50 for a peach) and I know that if I were to go back, I'd start complaining about them all over again... But that is the nature of being human. We always want what we can't have. I know that coming home was the best decision for me. But when I look outside and see grey, it helps to be reminded that there is also a little bit of silver...

posted by Samantha @ 3:31 PM